I threw away all the socks I don’t wear the other day and they were all zebra stripes and hot pink and lively. I’m not a crazy socks kind of person. When I buy patterned colorful socks, I wear them occasionally and even then only begrudgingly.

I wear the same five or six pieces of jewelry over and over again. I gravitate toward black, navy, and neutral earth tones. I own about 20 v-neck t shirts and if you gave me a choice, I’d pick denim and a t-shirt over couture any day. Variety is not the spice of my life. I like routine. Too many choices fatigues me.

The patterned socks? They are everything I always feel like I need to be. Fun, colorful, full of excitement. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not quintessentially fun, colorful, or full of excitement. I *can* be all of those things, but they aren’t my M.O. I don’t enter a room and exude color. I’m quiet; like a sponge. I like to listen and observe, and if I’m not paying attention I will unwittingly take on other people’s energy. I’m often happiest alone with a book in the park, soaking up the sun. I don’t live to be the center of attention. So? I’ll stick to what I truly like and stop buying the things that make me feel like I’m trying to be someone else. And that starts with the crazy socks. 

Imperfection is Part of the Art

If you look back at pictures of me in college, you’ll notice that I almost always had my nails painted. I used to spend two hours at a time giving myself a manicure just like you get at the salon.

<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2894" src="; alt="Me in London

I’ve probably painted my nails  five times in the past five years. There are a bunch of reasons for that, but the most troubling and prevailing reason I don’t paint my nails anymore is because I often don’t have two hours to spend doing nothing with my hands, applying coats and waiting for them to dry. So I resign to doing nothing, despite the desire to have my nails painted.

I realized last night that my perfectionism is seeping into the most mundane things in my life.

I do not paint my nails anymore because if I can’t do it correctly and perfectly, I will not do it at all.

I am so blindly type A that I will not paint my nails if I can not do it exactly like I want to. Like it will somehow mean something if I *gasp* apply one coat of polish to a bare nail.

*insert eye roll here*

I’ve been slowly realizing how often I get the urge to do something perfectly, and how often I painstakingly follow through with that urge. Or, I know that I cannot do it perfectly and decide not to do it at all because if you can’t do it right, you have no business doing it at all.

That kind of thinking should really be reserved for people making precise, life and death movements. You know, like surgeons or rocket scientists, or the bomb squad. Me? The most life and death I get is getting behind the wheel of a car or chopping vegetables with a very sharp knife.

I do not need to stay so tightly wound. I do not need to exist in a purely perfect state of being. In fact, that’s impossible. So the illusion I’ve been keeping up of needing to do everything perfectly is a joke I’ve been playing on myself for years.

I made a vision board for 2017 and one of my favorite sentences I pieced together reads, “Imperfection is part of the art.” If you want to create something or do something you haven’t done before, you can’t be afraid of a little imperfection.

Here’s to one coat manicures, crooked lines, and asymmetrical pieces.

This is my secret, and I’m setting it free

What you’re about to read is a piece of my story that I’ve kept to myself for a very long time. George Orwell said, “If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” I hid this secret from myself for a very long time. Once it was no longer a secret I kept from myself, I gradually realized that I couldn’t keep it at all.

I believe that there’s great power in telling our secrets and sharing the parts of our stories that are not dreamlike and perfect. Keeping this secret is no longer serving me, and I know with every fiber of my being that telling this secret is the only way to be rid of it.

Continue reading


Now that I’ve taken time to reflect back on 2016, it’s time to look ahead. If I think about my goals for 2016, they were a bit too lofty. So in the name of practicality, I’m keeping it simple this year.

  • Read 52 books. This is totally doable for me. HERE WE GO. Tell me what books you loved reading recently.
  • Practice gratitude. I always talk about this but I struggle with it so. I’m starting out with one thing a day, and if I have more, so be it.
  • Meditate. I go hot and cold with meditating, it’s true. But I do find great value in it. I’m starting with 10 minutes a day.
  • Write a book. My book on underemployment to be exact. I’ve already pitched the idea to an agent, so we’ll see if it has legs after I submit my proposal. *eeeeeeeeek*
  • Fitness. I truly don’t enjoy exercise. I’m lazy or… whatever. But I also know that it’s good for you and ultimately gets your creative juices flowing, helps you live longer, and is overall a decent idea for anyone who would like to thrive in life. Soooo… any ideas welcome.
  • Dabble in creativity. This is another thing that’s good for your brain and overall well being. As long as I can remember that it does not need to be perfect, whatever it is. I keep talking about water color painting. Maybe it’s finally time to take a stab at it!
  • Send more snail mail. I like to get real mail and send real mail. I’m slightly obsessed with fun stamps… Send me your address! I pinky promise not to sell your information or stalk you or any off the wall thing like that :)

What are you doing this year? Anything good?


    2016: A Year in Review

    2016 was one hell of a frigging ride. Here’s the cliff’s notes version of my year.

    • Finally got a big girl job with things like retirement, vacation/sick time, and health insurance
    • Ended my years long job search for a position in higher ed (I’ll stop whining now, I promise)
    • Starting making ends meet (halle-fricking-llujah)
    • Tried Zumba
    • Three funerals, four losses. Can we talk about this for a minute? FOUR LOSSES IN A YEAR IS TOO DAMN MANY, OKAY??
    • One wedding
    • Gained a step-mom! My “family” has grown so much over the past 8 years. If you’re a part of that expansion, whether you’re on Mack’s side or my side, know that I love you <3
    • Stepped into a Catholic church and did not immediately catch on fire (it took about ten minutes)
    • Did my first podcast!
    • Stopped drinking coffee (too much anxiety up in here)
    • Presented at an annual, national conference in front of about ~60 strangers
    • Got horrifying stage fright and one hell of a vulnerability hangover
    • Vowed to get better at public speaking
    • Got another dog named Pippa (though something  like Gollum is more fitting). But boy is she cute!
    • Traveled to:
      • Jacksonville, FL
      • Maidens, VA
      • Atlanta, GA
    • Pitched my book idea to an agent
    • Decided to actually write the book no matter what
    • Reunited with a long lost friend
    • Made new friends
    • Read oodles of books – 48 to be exact!
    • Bought a house- we close sometimes this month (hopefully (the date has been pushed (but it’s not our fault))).

    I’m late to the 2016 reflection party, but life happens. Stay tuned for a post outlining my goals for 2017!