25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years

25 Things I've Learned in 25 Years via J Seeks Joy #Wisdom #Birthday #Advice #LifeAdvice #Inspiration #Motivation

This post has been brewing for a month and a half and I’m glad to finally share it with all of you! While 25 is relatively young, I like to think that I’ve picked up a few gold nuggets of knowledge along the way :)

  1. Don’t buy the shoes. You realistically need four or five five pairs of shoes. Until you have a walk in closet, anyway. And STOP buying unsupportive, cheap, trendy shoes that give you blisters and ugly red marks on the back of your heels. Buy nice shoes, keep them for a long time.
  2. Your thoughts are not gospel. You are not your thoughts. Take every thought with a grain of salt.
  3. Exercise self-compassion. You are you, and you are human. You make mistakes. “To err is human.”
  4. Practice gratitude. This does not always come easily, but that’s why they call it practice.
  5. Don’t be afraid to ask for what you need. People will walk all over you if you don’t ask for what you need. No one can read minds as of this writing.
  6. Taking care of yourself is not a luxury. Do not feel guilty for: spending ‘too much’ money on groceries, buying a new bed, buying new shoes when yours wear out, hair cuts, moisturizer, or sunscreen. Pay now with your money, or pay later with your health.
  7. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” You are in a race with yourself and no one else. Be happy for others’ success, but stay in your own lane. This is incredibly hard to execute, but not impossible.
  8. Expectation is the root of all anger and disappointment. Assess your expectations regularly. Accept when you’ve set the bar too high for yourself or someone else.
  9. “He who burns bridges better be a damn good swimmer.” (Thank you Harvey Mackay!) Be prepared for the consequences when you burn a bridge whether it’s at work or in your personal life.
  10. Listen to the music that makes you happy. We call our trashy music tastes a “guilty pleasure” because we’re all so concerned with what other people think. My personal favorite that absolutely does not ‘fit’ is “Chicken Fried” by Zac Brown band. And I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think about that.
  11. Know when you’re wrong, and know when to quit arguing. It’s hard to admit you’re wrong. It’s also hard to end an argument. Say, “I love you more than this argument,” and act accordingly.
  12. Be flexibly persistent. (Borrowed from Reid Hoffman, founder of LinkedIn). You will go up in flames. Remember your fire extinguisher. Start adjusting your plans.
  13. Begin each day with a clean slate. To quote Emerson, “Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
  14. Be kind to yourself. When you do something stupid, you are not stupid; What you just did was stupid. When you behave badly, you are not bad; How you just acted was bad. When you say something you didn’t mean, you aren’t a monster; You just said the wrong thing. Do not use yourself as a punching bag.
  15. Take care of your skin. Moisturize, and wear sunscreen. You only get one natural face. And don’t skip your neck. Looking down at your smartphone all the time is quickly wrinkling your neck. Ew.
  16. You are what you eat. Your body has no use for crap food. Excess sugar, carbs, artificial sweeteners, carbs, refined foods, preservatives, carbs… Ain’t no body got time for that.
  17. Do what you say and say what you’ll do. Being accountable, trustworthy, and good for your word will go a long way with people.
  18. Immerse yourself in a book at all times. The library is free; You don’t need to buy a ton of books. People will tell you it’s impossible to keep up with your adult life and read a lot. They are bad at prioritizing. Don’t listen to them.
  19. Forget the life you’ve imagined. The future is unpredictable, and you can’t always control what happens in life. Don’t get caught up in things that have not or are not happening and focus on where you are and where you can feasibly go from here.
  20. Say yes, and figure the rest out later. This goes for any opportunity. Don’t let the details stop you.
  21. Know thyself. And don’t apologize for your quirks. I know that I’m weird and type A about a lot of things, and pretending to be easy going or apologizing for being the way I am would feel pretty shitty.
  22. Leave your eyebrows alone. The thing that I find MOST DISTRACTING about watching Orange is the New Black is Vause’s eyebrows. Ugh. They are one width throughout. They are over-shaped and over-managed and I’m not here for it.
  23. You can forgive people, even if they’re not sorry. Because it’s not for them, it’s for you.
  24. Remember to breathe. Breathe in through your nose, focus on your breath, imagine it filling up your entire body, breathe out the bullshit.
  25. Bask in your failure. The sooner you get better and more graceful at failing, the better. Resilience isn’t something you can be taught; it’s something you have to build yourself and the only way to do it is to fail, and fail spectacularly. Don’t be ashamed of failure. Wear it with pride. After all, it’s proof that you tried.

2 thoughts on “25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years

  1. themindfulmaritimer says:

    I agree with so many things that you’ve said especially the shoes part! I can say that out of all of the shoes that I have bought the ones I wear on a regular basis are the ones that were the most expensive and have lasted me the longest. Birks in the summer and uggs in the winter!


    • Jess says:

      Thanks for reading! I live in Birks all year long, unless there’s snow on the ground and then I get out my snow boots. I’ve also noticed I get pretty bad back pain from wearing flat shoes and it’s so not worth it!


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