Last week I was texting a friend and we talked for a minute about planning life.
Growing up, you believe everything is formulaic and logically follows a sequence. And it is that way for a long time. The option to not make choices is a luxury you don’t appreciate until it’s long gone.
Now that I’m out of high school and have been through college, earned a master’s degree, have worked for over two and a half years, and have been in a long term relationship for all of that time, there are two things I’ve realized:
- You can’t avoid a lot of decisions.
- You can’t plan your life.
Not to say you have no say in the direction your life takes, but you can’t make a five year plan that simply says: new job in one, married in two, house in three, baby in four (if you’re following the ‘right’ way to do things.)
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity.” -Gilda Radner
Life has a funny way of taking you by surprise. You can’t anticipate everything. My biggest struggles in life have always revolved around not being able to accept what is.
You’ll have pleasant surprises and unexpected bad news. You’ll have great days and meh days, and days you’ll never think about again.
The trick to being okay with that, rather than living your life on autopilot resenting everything is to stop and accept everything in this moment: how you feel, what you want, what you have, what you don’t have, what’s happening, what isn’t happening, where you want to be, and where you are and just taking it all in. Sit with it. Give it a metaphorical hug.