I’ve been pretty quiet on the blog these days. If you follow me on Instagram you know I’ve been having a bit of a hard time with where I’m headed in my professional life. I’ll give you the Cliff’s Notes version of the past few months in case you haven’t been tuned in: I applied for my dream job back in the spring (advising undeclared students) and I didn’t get it. I was pretty confident I would, so you can imagine it’s been a bit of a letdown as I readjust my expectations.

Since then, I’ve been what I would call slightly depressed. It’s not been a full blown depression, but it has been affecting me. Yesterday, I sat down to write a blog post for Holl & Lane magazine (which will go live in October!) and part of my post was my story and how I eventually got out of the retail world. I took a step back as I wrote it and realized that where I am now is a place I’ve been before. I’ve seen this room/I’ve walked this floor.

I’ve spent the last three months intently focused on trying to figure out what to do with my life that I haven’t been able to see the big picture. I pine for a bigger purpose- for a job that’s more relevant to my degree, for something that makes me want to jump out of bed in the morning- that I’ve been completely miserable. I don’t know where I’m going, if and or when I’ll finally get to call myself an advisor, or how I’ll get to the next chapter in my story. And the answers aren’t coming to me. I’m in too deep.

Like I said, I’ve been here before. When I was working retail, I made myself completely miserable by focusing entirely on how I wasn’t where I wanted to be.

As I realized that I’m back in that pretty dark and creepy place (you know, the one that inspired me to begin this blog two years ago) I knew what I needed to do.

I need to step away for a while. Not in the literal sense, but I can’t let myself be so preoccupied with the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing and that I feel stuck. Framing it like that only makes me feel worse- it’s not productive. It’s kind of like the dating advice people give- you do you and you’ll attract what you’re looking for.

Instead of focusing on how stuck I feel, I’m going to be focusing my energy elsewhere. Part of that focus will be on a brand spankin’ new newsletter I’m putting together- A Whit of Inspiration. What will it be? A collection of inspiring things I’ve found- things that have made me think, smile, or laugh. There’s no limit to what I might put in here, but it will all be good.  If that sounds like something you can get down with, you can sign yourself up right here. The first newsletter is scheduled to go out first thing Friday morning and I’m excited to share it with you.

Thanks for sticking with me.

I threw away all the socks I don’t wear the other day and they were all zebra stripes and hot pink and lively. I’m not a crazy socks kind of person. When I buy patterned colorful socks, I wear them occasionally and even then only begrudgingly.

I wear the same five or six pieces of jewelry over and over again. I gravitate toward black, navy, and neutral earth tones. I own about 20 v-neck t shirts and if you gave me a choice, I’d pick denim and a t-shirt over couture any day. Variety is not the spice of my life. I like routine. Too many choices fatigues me.

The patterned socks? They are everything I always feel like I need to be. Fun, colorful, full of excitement. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not quintessentially fun, colorful, or full of excitement. I *can* be all of those things, but they aren’t my M.O. I don’t enter a room and exude color. I’m quiet; like a sponge. I like to listen and observe, and if I’m not paying attention I will unwittingly take on other people’s energy. I’m often happiest alone with a book in the park, soaking up the sun. I don’t live to be the center of attention. So? I’ll stick to what I truly like and stop buying the things that make me feel like I’m trying to be someone else. And that starts with the crazy socks.