This is my secret, and I’m setting it free

What you’re about to read is a piece of my story that I’ve kept to myself for a very long time. George Orwell said, “If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.” I hid this secret from myself for a very long time. Once it was no longer a secret I kept from myself, I gradually realized that I couldn’t keep it at all.

I believe that there’s great power in telling our secrets and sharing the parts of our stories that are not dreamlike and perfect. Keeping this secret is no longer serving me, and I know with every fiber of my being that telling this secret is the only way to be rid of it.

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Now that I’ve taken time to reflect back on 2016, it’s time to look ahead. If I think about my goals for 2016, they were a bit too lofty. So in the name of practicality, I’m keeping it simple this year.

  • Read 52 books. This is totally doable for me. HERE WE GO. Tell me what books you loved reading recently.
  • Practice gratitude. I always talk about this but I struggle with it so. I’m starting out with one thing a day, and if I have more, so be it.
  • Meditate. I go hot and cold with meditating, it’s true. But I do find great value in it. I’m starting with 10 minutes a day.
  • Write a book. My book on underemployment to be exact. I’ve already pitched the idea to an agent, so we’ll see if it has legs after I submit my proposal. *eeeeeeeeek*
  • Fitness. I truly don’t enjoy exercise. I’m lazy or… whatever. But I also know that it’s good for you and ultimately gets your creative juices flowing, helps you live longer, and is overall a decent idea for anyone who would like to thrive in life. Soooo… any ideas welcome.
  • Dabble in creativity. This is another thing that’s good for your brain and overall well being. As long as I can remember that it does not need to be perfect, whatever it is. I keep talking about water color painting. Maybe it’s finally time to take a stab at it!
  • Send more snail mail. I like to get real mail and send real mail. I’m slightly obsessed with fun stamps… Send me your address! I pinky promise not to sell your information or stalk you or any off the wall thing like that :)

What are you doing this year? Anything good?


    2016: A Year in Review

    2016 was one hell of a frigging ride. Here’s the cliff’s notes version of my year.

    • Finally got a big girl job with things like retirement, vacation/sick time, and health insurance
    • Ended my years long job search for a position in higher ed (I’ll stop whining now, I promise)
    • Starting making ends meet (halle-fricking-llujah)
    • Tried Zumba
    • Three funerals, four losses. Can we talk about this for a minute? FOUR LOSSES IN A YEAR IS TOO DAMN MANY, OKAY??
    • One wedding
    • Gained a step-mom! My “family” has grown so much over the past 8 years. If you’re a part of that expansion, whether you’re on Mack’s side or my side, know that I love you <3
    • Stepped into a Catholic church and did not immediately catch on fire (it took about ten minutes)
    • Did my first podcast!
    • Stopped drinking coffee (too much anxiety up in here)
    • Presented at an annual, national conference in front of about ~60 strangers
    • Got horrifying stage fright and one hell of a vulnerability hangover
    • Vowed to get better at public speaking
    • Got another dog named Pippa (though something  like Gollum is more fitting). But boy is she cute!
    • Traveled to:
      • Jacksonville, FL
      • Maidens, VA
      • Atlanta, GA
    • Pitched my book idea to an agent
    • Decided to actually write the book no matter what
    • Reunited with a long lost friend
    • Made new friends
    • Read oodles of books – 48 to be exact!
    • Bought a house- we close sometimes this month (hopefully (the date has been pushed (but it’s not our fault))).

    I’m late to the 2016 reflection party, but life happens. Stay tuned for a post outlining my goals for 2017!

    It’s been a while

    Three months to be exact.

    Two days after my last post, something happened. After that, everything I was planning on saying seemed so unimportant and empty and trivial.

    I still feel like that, but here I am anyway,

    If there’s possibly a silver lining (and I’m still not sure there is) it’s that it’s given us a lot to think about.

    We’ve been talking about buying a house, but we didn’t get serious until this happened. I’ve been talking about writing a book, but I didn’t get serious until this happened. I’ve been avoiding dealing with some (quite frankly) emotional baggage, but I didn’t get serious until this happened.

    One day at a time, I am –  we are –  figuring things out.

    Mindfulness Roundup – September

    This is the second post in my monthly mindfulness roundup series where I share with you photos of the things I’ve noticed trying to be more mindful!  It helps me remember to stay present, not fiddling around in the past or the future.

    It looks like I’ve had my head in the clouds for the past month. I dig it.


    Summer niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihiiiiiiiights


    This is the floor in the Pittsburgh airport. I APPROVE


    Love me a good cloud


    I was trying to focus on the clouds, but this was way better


    Literally up in the clouds


    I am in love with this whole thing, from the design to the color


    Obligatory photo of Yogi


    Wouldn’t be me without a picture of flowers


    Yes please


    I’m gonna miss all the hydrangeas come fall